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1
00:00:16,956 --> 00:00:19,709
Some poor mastodon
is caught in the tar pit.
2
00:00:20,236 --> 00:00:23,034
They ought to put a fence
around the tar pit.
3
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:26,793
That's not a mastodon. It's Fred singing.
4
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,866
They ought to put a fence around him.
5
00:01:26,676 --> 00:01:30,555
Let's see now, the tralafast
is connected to the doohickey...
6
00:01:30,956 --> 00:01:33,914
the doohickey
is connected to the franaspan...
7
00:01:34,076 --> 00:01:36,715
the franaspan's connected
to the thingamajig.
8
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:40,425
The thingamajig's connected
to the whozit, and the whozit...
9
00:01:40,556 --> 00:01:43,309
That's it. The whozit isn't connected.
10
00:01:43,956 --> 00:01:46,709
Betty! Come to the window a minute.
11
00:01:48,716 --> 00:01:51,947
- What is it, Barney?
- I'm going over to see if Fred's home.
12
00:01:52,036 --> 00:01:55,028
- I got to borrow a whozit wrench.
- Okay, Barney.
13
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,112
Say hello to Wilma for me.
14
00:02:04,396 --> 00:02:08,548
I don't know what we housewives
would do without a good waste disposal.
15
00:02:17,116 --> 00:02:20,825
- Anybody home?
- Just a minute, Barney. I'll be right there.
16
00:02:23,756 --> 00:02:26,748
Hiya, Wilma. Betty says to say hello.
17
00:02:26,876 --> 00:02:28,787
So I'm saying hello.
18
00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,187
You say hello to her for me.
19
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,710
- Is Fred home yet?
- Not yet, Barney.
20
00:02:33,796 --> 00:02:37,425
He must be caught in a traffic jam.
What do you want him for?
21
00:02:37,596 --> 00:02:39,985
I wanted to borrow a whozit wrench
from him.
22
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,873
But it can wait, Wilma.
23
00:02:43,436 --> 00:02:45,996
A tall, frosty Cactus Coola.
24
00:02:46,316 --> 00:02:47,829
I'll come back later.
25
00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:50,669
Okay, Barney.
I'll tell him to call you when he gets home.
26
00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:51,825
Right.
27
00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:54,988
And by the way,
thanks for the hospitality, Wilma.
28
00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,907
You're welcome, Barney.
29
00:02:57,436 --> 00:02:59,506
That Barney is so polite.
30
00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:01,668
Such good manners.
31
00:03:02,636 --> 00:03:05,434
I wish Fred
would learn to be more like him.
32
00:03:06,196 --> 00:03:08,426
Fred's a diamond in the rough...
33
00:03:08,516 --> 00:03:11,155
but even diamonds can stand polishing.
34
00:03:12,156 --> 00:03:15,592
I'd love it if he'd
come through that door every night...
35
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:19,630
calm, urbane, with a smile on his lips.
36
00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:29,668
Hello, Fred. I see you finally got home.
37
00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:34,916
- Did you have a tough day, dear?
- Yeah.
38
00:03:36,556 --> 00:03:38,353
And it was so hot.
39
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,911
I bet it was terrible on the job.
40
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,945
And the traffic must've been awful.
41
00:03:48,756 --> 00:03:52,146
A diamond in the rough,
and they don't come any rougher.
42
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,749
What a day.
43
00:03:56,276 --> 00:03:59,029
But in all that heavy traffic coming home...
44
00:03:59,116 --> 00:04:01,311
one thing kept me going.
45
00:04:01,556 --> 00:04:04,673
As the car reached the lawn, I could see it.
46
00:04:04,756 --> 00:04:08,749
There it was, right in front of me,
big as life.
47
00:04:08,956 --> 00:04:10,275
What was it, Fred?
48
00:04:10,356 --> 00:04:13,826
That frosty, cold bottle of Cactus Coola...
49
00:04:13,996 --> 00:04:16,226
I put in the icebox last night.
50
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:22,275
Fred, you're so overheated,
you shouldn't drink anything cold.
51
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:25,344
Suck a lemon. That'll quench your thirst.
52
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:28,667
Suck a lemon? Are you out of your mind?
53
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:32,625
All the way home
I kept thinking of that tall...
54
00:04:32,716 --> 00:04:35,594
cold, frosty cactus juice...
55
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:39,225
trickling down my hot throat.
56
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,429
Suck a lemon.
57
00:04:44,596 --> 00:04:46,712
I got to hand it to you, Wilma.
58
00:04:47,276 --> 00:04:49,471
You got a great sense of humor.
59
00:04:53,356 --> 00:04:55,995
I'm sorry I came home so grouchy.
60
00:04:56,396 --> 00:05:00,753
But it won't happen again.
I am turning over a new leaf.
61
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:03,028
No more yelling.
62
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:06,427
No more acting mean.
63
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,548
Wilma! Where is it?
64
00:05:12,876 --> 00:05:14,389
Where is what, Fred?
65
00:05:14,676 --> 00:05:18,589
My last bottle of cold Cactus Coola.
66
00:05:19,076 --> 00:05:22,989
- Did you drink it, Wilma? Did you?
- No, Fred, I didn't.
67
00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:27,155
Barney took it.
68
00:05:28,956 --> 00:05:30,435
Barney took it?
69
00:05:30,516 --> 00:05:33,508
- Yes. He's your friend, isn't he?
- Friend?
70
00:05:33,676 --> 00:05:37,430
No friend would take
a man's last cold bottle...
71
00:05:37,516 --> 00:05:38,915
on a hot day.
72
00:05:39,436 --> 00:05:41,552
That does it. This is it!
73
00:05:41,636 --> 00:05:45,151
It's been coming on a long time,
but this did it!
74
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:49,834
I am through with that Barney Rubble.
I disown him as a neighbor.
75
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,874
- Aw, Fred.
- Don't "Aw, Fred" me.
76
00:05:52,956 --> 00:05:55,595
I'm never gonna speak to that guy again.
77
00:05:55,676 --> 00:05:59,032
And I'm going over to his house right now
and tell him.
78
00:05:59,236 --> 00:06:01,909
I'll give him a piece of my mind.
79
00:06:02,036 --> 00:06:05,506
Not too big a piece, Fred.
You haven't any to spare.
80
00:06:05,636 --> 00:06:08,787
"Haven't any to spare." How droll.
81
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,504
How very droll.
82
00:06:14,316 --> 00:06:17,035
The doohickey's connected
to the franaspan.
83
00:06:20,236 --> 00:06:23,512
Hello, Fred. What happened?
Did you get caught in traffic?
84
00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:29,987
- What's the matter, Fred?
- Barney, you and I are through.
85
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:33,428
Don't ever speak to me again.
We are finished.
86
00:06:33,996 --> 00:06:38,547
I'm returning your lawnmower, your rake,
your hedge shears, and your hose!
87
00:06:38,956 --> 00:06:42,392
- My power tools, too?
- Yes, your power tools, too.
88
00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:44,353
Gee, this is serious.
89
00:06:44,556 --> 00:06:47,150
You never returned
my power tools before.
90
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,629
There it is.
91
00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:54,391
My Cactus Coola. You didn't get to it yet?
92
00:06:54,796 --> 00:06:57,913
And you won't either,
'cause I'm gonna drink it myself.
93
00:06:57,996 --> 00:07:00,510
No, Fred. No, wait, Fred.
94
00:07:03,396 --> 00:07:06,991
There, icebox raider. It's empty.
95
00:07:07,196 --> 00:07:08,868
How do you like that?
96
00:07:08,956 --> 00:07:11,026
Fred, may I ask one question?
97
00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:13,471
Okay, but you better make it a good one...
98
00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:17,595
'cause it's the last time I'm talking to you.
Go ahead, ask.
99
00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:21,465
Okay, Fred.
Why did you drink my car polish?
100
00:07:21,556 --> 00:07:22,875
Car polish?
101
00:07:28,316 --> 00:07:30,671
Car polish! I'm poisoned.
102
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:33,987
- Do something, Barney!
- I'll get a chamois.
103
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:37,865
- Don't just stand there, do something!
- Like what, Fred?
104
00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:40,550
Like get a pump. Call a doctor.
Get a mechanic.
105
00:07:40,636 --> 00:07:43,355
How should I know? But do something.
106
00:07:51,676 --> 00:07:53,394
Fred, you all right?
107
00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:57,752
Betty. Come out here, quick.
108
00:07:57,836 --> 00:08:02,068
- I can't, I'm in the shower.
- Turn it off. It's an emergency.
109
00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:04,994
All right. Hold it, Trixie.
110
00:08:08,116 --> 00:08:12,189
It never fails. Soon as I get in the shower
that man wants something.
111
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,594
What happened to Fred?
112
00:08:16,716 --> 00:08:18,388
I know it sounds stupid...
113
00:08:18,476 --> 00:08:21,991
but Fred hit himself on the head
with a bottle. He knocked himself cold.
114
00:08:22,076 --> 00:08:25,386
Oh, dear.
I'd hate to tell that story to Wilma.
115
00:08:25,516 --> 00:08:27,154
What do you mean, Betty?
116
00:08:27,236 --> 00:08:30,785
I mean, think how embarrassed
Fred would feel if Wilma found out.
117
00:08:31,916 --> 00:08:35,431
Maybe we can sneak him into his house
and put him on his sofa...
118
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:38,906
- and she'll think he's asleep.
- Sneak him into the house?
119
00:08:39,356 --> 00:08:42,985
Well, that's like sneaking an elephant
into a telephone booth.
120
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,908
Anyway, let's give it a try.
121
00:08:47,636 --> 00:08:50,070
Easy, Barney, easy.
122
00:08:51,276 --> 00:08:53,995
Let's stop a minute
while I catch my breath.
123
00:08:54,396 --> 00:08:57,115
- Let's lean him up against the door.
- Okay.
124
00:08:57,836 --> 00:09:01,670
Oh, boy! He's a load to lug around.
125
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:13,425
Hiya, Wilma. So, what else is new?
126
00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:16,434
We brought Fred home.
127
00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:19,792
- What happened?
- It could happen to anyone.
128
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:22,788
Yeah, Fred hit himself on the head
with a bottle.
129
00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:25,390
Hit himself on the head with a bottle?
130
00:09:25,716 --> 00:09:28,833
Get him into bed, Barney. I'll call a doctor.
131
00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:35,587
Gee, Fred's been out a long time.
I wish the doctor would get here.
132
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,555
When I called, he said he'd be right over.
133
00:09:40,276 --> 00:09:42,949
That's him now. Come in, Doctor.
134
00:09:44,636 --> 00:09:47,150
Have no fear, medical science is here.
135
00:09:49,076 --> 00:09:50,634
I'm just in time.
136
00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:53,788
My, you don't look good at all, not at all.
137
00:09:56,036 --> 00:10:00,427
See, now what did I tell you?
Loosen your shirt, we may have to tap.
138
00:10:00,996 --> 00:10:03,669
- Is it serious, Doc?
- Don't worry about it, son.
139
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,428
I never lost a patient yet.
140
00:10:05,516 --> 00:10:08,553
Some don't get better,
but I always know where they are.
141
00:10:10,436 --> 00:10:12,666
That's a joke we use down at the clinic.
142
00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:14,348
- Doctor.
- Yes?
143
00:10:14,436 --> 00:10:16,233
That's not the patient.
144
00:10:17,636 --> 00:10:20,946
Oh, my. That's too bad.
You could use some help.
145
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:22,947
But let's get on with it.
146
00:10:23,276 --> 00:10:24,948
All right, madam...
147
00:10:25,596 --> 00:10:28,906
- stick out your tongue.
- Are you kidding? I'm not sick.
148
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:33,150
We doctors are so busy.
Seems everybody is sick.
149
00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:35,033
There you are, my dear.
150
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,633
- Where does it hurt?
- I'm not sick either.
151
00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:42,027
I must insist upon quiet.
152
00:10:43,516 --> 00:10:47,191
- This man is trying to get some rest.
- That's the patient!
153
00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:48,709
That's the...
154
00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:51,868
I'm not a mind reader, you know.
155
00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:54,948
I can't diagnose
when you don't tell the doctor everything.
156
00:10:55,036 --> 00:10:57,504
He got hit on the head with a bottle.
157
00:10:58,036 --> 00:10:59,230
A bottle?
158
00:11:01,716 --> 00:11:06,073
You shouldn't hit him with a bottle.
A rolling pin, yes, maybe, but not a bottle.
159
00:11:07,156 --> 00:11:11,229
- Can you hear me, Doctor?
- Yes, very clearly.
160
00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:13,750
- Yes, indeed.
- Okay...
161
00:11:15,436 --> 00:11:18,428
Now hear this. Get lost!
162
00:11:21,076 --> 00:11:24,671
I always wanted
to have a human patient just once.
163
00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:27,954
But that's it.
So it's back to my horses for me.
164
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:32,666
- Back to the pasture.
- Why, he's a veterinarian.
165
00:11:32,756 --> 00:11:35,031
I must've gotten the wrong list of doctors.
166
00:11:35,116 --> 00:11:37,630
I don't know. Fred eats like a horse.
167
00:11:41,596 --> 00:11:44,394
He's coming out of it. Fred, wake up.
168
00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:48,826
You feeling better? Speak to me.
169
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,833
- Still out.
- I think I can snap him out of it.
170
00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:54,588
- How, Wilma?
- Watch.
171
00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:58,428
Fred, you want a hamburger?
172
00:12:00,276 --> 00:12:02,710
- That did it.
- Boy, did you see that?
173
00:12:02,796 --> 00:12:07,153
It's a good thing you didn't say pizza pie.
He would've gone through the ceiling.
174
00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:09,067
Are you feeling okay, Freddie-boy?
175
00:12:09,156 --> 00:12:12,148
Certainly, Bernard, my esteemed neighbor.
176
00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:15,354
Bernard? Are you all right, Freddie?
177
00:12:16,076 --> 00:12:18,749
Bernard, please, not Freddie.
178
00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:22,108
It's undignified. My name is Frederick.
179
00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:25,871
I'm sure you won't mind
addressing me properly.
180
00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:29,866
- What's wrong with him, Wilma?
- I don't know.
181
00:12:30,236 --> 00:12:32,352
But he'll snap out of it in a minute.
182
00:12:33,436 --> 00:12:36,189
There's my sweet, adorable wife...
183
00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:38,187
Iooking charming as usual.
184
00:12:38,276 --> 00:12:42,474
- How are you, my dear?
- See? He's all right. He knows me.
185
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,870
Are you kidding?
186
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:47,107
And there's Elizabeth, Bernard's wife...
187
00:12:47,196 --> 00:12:49,266
a vision of loveliness...
188
00:12:49,356 --> 00:12:50,869
a delight to the eye.
189
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:53,675
Yeah, he's all right. He knows me, too.
190
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,386
If you ask me, Fred's flipped his lid.
191
00:12:59,476 --> 00:13:02,627
Let's go home, Betty. A good night's sleep
will straighten him out.
192
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,627
Okay. Good night, Wilma.
193
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:08,749
Toodle-oo, Frederick, you old dear.
194
00:13:11,756 --> 00:13:16,113
I'm telling you, that sock on the noggin
knocked a screw loose in Fred's head.
195
00:13:16,716 --> 00:13:20,470
Why, Barney? Because he called me
a vision of loveliness?
196
00:13:20,876 --> 00:13:22,912
What's your opinion, Barney?
197
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,433
That's sissy talk.
Regular guys don't talk like that.
198
00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:30,145
Never mind regular guys,
what's your opinion?
199
00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:33,584
Tell me what you think of me, Barney.
200
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:36,435
- Betty, please.
- Say it, Barney.
201
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:41,231
All right. You are a vision of loveliness.
202
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,112
Allow me, Wilma.
203
00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:54,027
You're going to spoil me.
204
00:13:54,356 --> 00:13:56,745
You've been so attentive
the last few weeks.
205
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,794
Nothing will ever spoil
my little turtledove.
206
00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:02,027
You just rest, my dear.
207
00:14:02,156 --> 00:14:05,546
Why don't you make a list of things
to augment your scanty wardrobe...
208
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,911
whilst I finish doing the dishes?
209
00:14:07,996 --> 00:14:11,625
Thanks, Frederick. You're a dear.
210
00:14:13,316 --> 00:14:17,514
I could use some new dresses
and a fur coat.
211
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,272
Good evening, friends.
212
00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:30,831
This is your Mystery Hour...
213
00:14:31,116 --> 00:14:32,674
brought to you by...
214
00:14:32,756 --> 00:14:33,905
Barney!
215
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,387
What's the matter with you?
216
00:14:38,116 --> 00:14:40,425
Is this any way to leave the towel?
217
00:14:40,516 --> 00:14:43,667
You just wet your hands
and wiped the dirt off on it.
218
00:14:44,036 --> 00:14:47,073
Why can't you be neat and clean
like Frederick...
219
00:14:47,156 --> 00:14:50,626
and hang up your things?
All I do is pick up after you.
220
00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:54,186
Why, I even found one of your ties
with soup spots on it...
221
00:14:54,276 --> 00:14:56,187
stuffed in the flower vase.
222
00:14:56,276 --> 00:14:58,870
Frederick wouldn't do a thing like that.
223
00:14:58,996 --> 00:15:00,987
Why can't you be more like him?
224
00:15:01,076 --> 00:15:03,749
Frederick, I hate Frederick!
225
00:15:06,996 --> 00:15:09,749
Now, don't say so unless you mean it.
226
00:15:10,396 --> 00:15:12,432
Do you really like it, Frederick?
227
00:15:12,516 --> 00:15:16,634
I think it's superb, my dear. Very chic.
228
00:15:17,236 --> 00:15:20,706
But, Frederick, it's so expensive.
229
00:15:21,036 --> 00:15:23,152
We'll be paying on it for years.
230
00:15:23,236 --> 00:15:26,069
Details, my dear, mere details.
231
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:30,025
I shall walk to work, skip lunches...
232
00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:33,229
make my old clothes do
for another five years...
233
00:15:33,316 --> 00:15:36,194
and before you know it, it shall be yours.
234
00:15:36,756 --> 00:15:38,075
I wonder...
235
00:15:38,836 --> 00:15:42,112
Is it possible for a man to be too nice?
236
00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:47,474
Fellows, it's early.
Aren't you gonna shoot another game?
237
00:15:47,556 --> 00:15:51,151
Gosh, Barney, I can't. I got to go home
and straighten up my closet.
238
00:15:51,236 --> 00:15:54,194
Yeah, and this is my night
to polish the silverware.
239
00:15:54,276 --> 00:15:57,985
But, fellows, we always play
on Tuesday nights. What's the idea?
240
00:15:58,116 --> 00:16:00,072
It's our wives' idea.
241
00:16:00,156 --> 00:16:04,035
There's some joker around
the neighborhood making it tough for us.
242
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,876
Some guy named Frederick.
243
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:12,390
That reminds me.
This is the night I vacuum the house.
244
00:16:14,436 --> 00:16:17,473
And what would your pleasure be tonight,
my dear?
245
00:16:17,996 --> 00:16:20,430
Getting dressed up, going out to dance...
246
00:16:20,516 --> 00:16:24,714
and hoop it up a bit with other people,
and come home on the milk truck.
247
00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:27,794
You're joking, my dear.
248
00:16:27,876 --> 00:16:30,629
- That wouldn't be elevating.
- No?
249
00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:32,907
It'd give me a lift, buster.
250
00:16:32,996 --> 00:16:35,066
I know you can't be serious.
251
00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:37,187
How about a spelling bee?
252
00:16:37,636 --> 00:16:39,672
How about soaking your head?
253
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:43,032
Then how about reading Shelley's sonnets
to you again?
254
00:16:43,716 --> 00:16:48,426
I've heard Ode to a Lark so many times
I could build a nest and lay eggs.
255
00:16:48,556 --> 00:16:51,753
Then we'll have a little opera music.
256
00:16:52,036 --> 00:16:53,151
Oh, no.
257
00:16:53,236 --> 00:16:55,909
Wait till you hear this one, my dear.
It's different.
258
00:16:55,996 --> 00:16:59,875
- And what's different about it?
- This one has just the music...
259
00:17:00,116 --> 00:17:03,472
which allows me to sing the aria.
How about that?
260
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,826
Oh, no, I hate this one.
The pizzicatos are too andante.
261
00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:11,829
True. But the tonal counterpoint
is so pianissimo.
262
00:17:12,476 --> 00:17:13,795
Oh, brother.
263
00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:22,115
I hate opera.
264
00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:43,110
The orchestra is definitely out of tune.
265
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,312
Shall we try it again?
266
00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:47,906
Once more and I'll blow my top.
267
00:18:18,476 --> 00:18:21,229
Some poor mastodon
is caught in the tar pit.
268
00:18:21,596 --> 00:18:25,509
Yeah, they get caught in the tar,
and they gradually sink.
269
00:18:25,836 --> 00:18:28,634
They ought to put a fence
around the tar pit.
270
00:18:29,356 --> 00:18:32,393
That's not a mastodon. It's Fred singing.
271
00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:35,624
They ought to put a fence around him.
272
00:18:36,076 --> 00:18:37,395
Poor Wilma.
273
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:40,993
Looks like we're in for
a siege of opera this week.
274
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:46,347
I bet she'd settle for the spelling bees.
At least they don't hurt your ears.
275
00:18:47,196 --> 00:18:50,871
Opera or spelling bees,
either way, we get stung.
276
00:18:53,756 --> 00:18:57,510
I say, you are in a pensive mood tonight,
my dear.
277
00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,554
What are you doing?
278
00:19:00,156 --> 00:19:03,228
Just looking at some old photos
of you, Frederick.
279
00:19:04,996 --> 00:19:06,270
How quaint.
280
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,830
That's the old, crude me.
281
00:19:09,236 --> 00:19:11,067
Yes, it is.
282
00:19:12,436 --> 00:19:14,870
That's you at the Rubbles'
New Year's party.
283
00:19:14,996 --> 00:19:17,226
You put on Mrs. Stonehead's hat.
284
00:19:18,676 --> 00:19:20,587
You were a riot. Remember?
285
00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:23,114
I'd rather forget.
286
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,147
And here's you
when you won that pie eating contest.
287
00:19:27,236 --> 00:19:30,945
Disgusting. That was my uncouth period.
288
00:19:31,276 --> 00:19:34,074
How did you ever stand me, Wilma?
289
00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:37,712
It wasn't too hard. It was kind of fun.
290
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:44,985
You can't go bowling and not ask Fred.
I mean Frederick.
291
00:19:45,276 --> 00:19:47,471
I can give it a good, hard try.
292
00:19:47,556 --> 00:19:49,911
All right, you've tried.
Now go over and ask him.
293
00:19:49,996 --> 00:19:51,145
Okay.
294
00:19:55,596 --> 00:19:59,225
Bowling? I say, that sounds
simply monotonous.
295
00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:03,105
I just thought I'd ask.
After all, you are the team captain.
296
00:20:03,916 --> 00:20:08,114
Yes. Well, a captain
should never let his followers down.
297
00:20:08,836 --> 00:20:12,033
Lead on, old boy.
I shall respond to your plea.
298
00:20:12,556 --> 00:20:13,750
Big deal.
299
00:20:15,436 --> 00:20:19,349
Fellows, look who's here.
It's good old Fred. Where you been, pal?
300
00:20:19,556 --> 00:20:22,070
- Hiya, Fred.
- Yeah, long time no see.
301
00:20:22,156 --> 00:20:24,909
Come on, Captain, it's your turn to bowl.
302
00:20:25,036 --> 00:20:28,665
Please, you are wrinkling my fur.
303
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,593
Guys. Did you get that?
304
00:20:33,036 --> 00:20:35,834
"You are wrinkling my fur."
305
00:20:37,796 --> 00:20:40,356
Good old Fred. There's no one like him.
306
00:20:40,436 --> 00:20:43,428
- They can say that again.
- Gentlemen, please.
307
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,265
I only came because I'm the captain.
308
00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:51,107
And I want it strictly understood
that I shall stand for no insubordination.
309
00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:55,473
No insubordination. What a guy!
310
00:20:55,636 --> 00:20:57,069
Okay, Captain.
311
00:20:57,436 --> 00:20:59,950
Get up there and make a strike.
312
00:21:01,036 --> 00:21:04,233
This is a real pro in action.
313
00:21:18,676 --> 00:21:22,032
It went into the gutter.
What happened, Fred?
314
00:21:22,436 --> 00:21:26,190
Never mind that Fred stuff.
My name is Frederick.
315
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:32,466
They've been looking for Frederick.
I'd better get him out of here.
316
00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:36,988
But I'm their captain! This is mutiny.
317
00:21:37,076 --> 00:21:39,749
And if they catch us,
it'll be worse than that.
318
00:21:39,836 --> 00:21:42,304
Come on, maybe we can beat them home.
319
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:48,424
Now stay there and don't move
till I tell you to come out.
320
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:50,429
Barney, what's going on?
321
00:21:50,516 --> 00:21:52,552
Why have you got Frederick
under the bed?
322
00:21:52,636 --> 00:21:55,275
Because I'm saving his life, that's why.
323
00:21:56,076 --> 00:21:59,546
Now remember,
don't come out from under there.
324
00:22:02,796 --> 00:22:06,072
I'm telling you, Wilma,
every guy in town is out to get him.
325
00:22:06,156 --> 00:22:09,466
They even formed
a Get-rid-of-Frederick-or-else club.
326
00:22:09,556 --> 00:22:13,105
- Poor Fred. We got to do something.
- But what?
327
00:22:13,476 --> 00:22:16,513
Maybe we can sell the house
and move out of town.
328
00:22:16,596 --> 00:22:19,190
A rap on the head changed him...
329
00:22:19,276 --> 00:22:22,473
maybe another crack on the noggin
will change him back.
330
00:22:22,556 --> 00:22:24,831
At this point, I'll try anything.
331
00:22:24,956 --> 00:22:29,029
- Go ahead, Barney, conk him.
- Who me? No, not me.
332
00:22:29,116 --> 00:22:31,755
- I couldn't hit him.
- You hit him, Betty.
333
00:22:31,996 --> 00:22:34,032
I can't even spank our dog.
334
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,347
I can't do it either.
335
00:22:36,876 --> 00:22:40,027
- What'll we do?
- Say, I got an idea.
336
00:22:40,396 --> 00:22:42,785
We can arrange it so he conks himself.
337
00:22:42,876 --> 00:22:45,344
- How, Barney?
- Come on, I'll show you.
338
00:22:45,996 --> 00:22:48,032
Now, you see that rock up there?
339
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,710
Yes, but why is it on top of the door?
340
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,151
Watch.
341
00:22:54,556 --> 00:22:56,990
Get it? When Fred opens the door...
342
00:22:58,236 --> 00:23:00,625
The rock lands right on his noggin.
343
00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:02,508
I suppose it has to be done...
344
00:23:02,596 --> 00:23:05,588
but is it necessary
to use such a hard rock?
345
00:23:05,756 --> 00:23:08,634
Frederick has a hard head, you know.
346
00:23:09,116 --> 00:23:12,392
Okay, go ahead. But I can't watch.
347
00:23:13,396 --> 00:23:15,785
- Frederick.
- Yes, Bernard?
348
00:23:15,956 --> 00:23:19,426
Will you come out here
and play some opera records for us?
349
00:23:19,596 --> 00:23:22,793
Play some opera records?
Why, certainly, Bernard.
350
00:23:23,996 --> 00:23:27,113
I'm glad your plebeian tastes
are getting elevated.
351
00:23:27,516 --> 00:23:30,792
I think I shall start with a sextet
from Lucia.
352
00:23:35,476 --> 00:23:38,070
Okay, okay!
353
00:23:38,596 --> 00:23:40,393
Who's the wise guy?
354
00:23:40,996 --> 00:23:43,874
I thought I told you
we were through, Rubble.
355
00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:46,153
And what's this stuff, Wilma?
356
00:23:46,236 --> 00:23:48,704
Back, send it back!
357
00:23:48,796 --> 00:23:50,832
You think I'm made of money?
358
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:54,233
Barney, aren't we supposed
to go bowling tonight?
359
00:23:54,316 --> 00:23:55,715
What are we waiting for?
360
00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:58,993
The fellows need me.
I'm the captain of the team, you know.
361
00:23:59,076 --> 00:24:00,873
Right, Fred. Let's go.
362
00:24:03,956 --> 00:24:07,312
There he goes with all his faults.
363
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:11,591
- He's still my Fred.
- And that's my Barney.
364
00:24:11,876 --> 00:24:14,185
And we're stuck with both of them.
365
00:24:14,276 --> 00:24:16,665
But we like it. We like it.
366
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:06,945
Come on, Wilma, open this door!
367
00:25:12,596 --> 00:25:13,585
English
368
00:25:14,585 --> 00:25:24,585
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